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 | Fixture Details | |  | | |
Home | Return to Division Fixtures
| Division: |
Division 6B |
| Home Team: |
Colets 6 |
| Away Team: |
Woking 2 |
| Date: | 21 Jan 2015 (confirmed) |
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| Time: | 07:30 pm |
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| Verified: | 03 Feb 2015 by Chris B |
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| Report: | A very enjoyable match by all accounts, there are no scores but we produced a detailed match report as follows:
MATCH REPORT - Woking 21st Jan 2015 - warning such reports can contain strong language and violent images
It seemed like forever ago that those deemed worthy enough to represent Colets descended upon Woking, ready for battle. Branded "The Todgers", sporting the finest pink and blue armour, sponsored by Mr Gofer (whoever the f**k he is), each armed only a 135g racket and his wits, they fought for club and county. However it was not to be, not this time - Jailbait led from the front, dispatching his enemy in straight sets, and The Sailor eventually smote his opponent in an epic 5 setter. Sadly however the rest did not survive; The Human Dustbin, Tubs and Le Frog could only muster a game between them. Blood had been spilt...and it hurt. How to win became myth; myth became legend, and things which ought not to have been forgotten were lost. But somewhere deep and dark, a nameless whisper stirred. The Todgers were being reborn like a Phoenix. And the best thing about losing is the vengeance that comes after.
Fresh from teaching JoJo that even Christians can lose squash matches, The Sweater donned his chainmail and joined the ranks, reinforcing the squad. However without The General not around to marshall, it looked a tall order - who would put a card behind the bar? Who would order a curry? But this team is made of stronger stuff...so fasten your seatbelts cos we were in for a bumpy ride.
Woking arrived with swagger, a spring in their step and a certain seductive quality. That's when we needed in Le Frog - you don't get more seductive than a Frenchman. First point against The Todgers. Woking had more depth on the return leg, bumping down a player to make room for a new number 1. An unknown quantity.
First to draw his sword was The Sweater, back from God Squash camp to learn some miraculous shots. And boy did it pay off. Far from his usual sweaty, dripping self, he oozed class and poise. Not things you would associated with his perspirating corpse. Dispatching his oppponent 3-0 in a blink of an eye, that opponent being half of the 5 setter on the away leg! #DryJanuary #PRINCEofPace
Just next door, the Human Dustbin waged war against Adrian Mole (he was called Adrian and bald like a mole). Things looked easy...too easy. A 2-0 lead slipped to 2-2, and age and experience unfortunately triumphed over youth and speed. More ruthlessness required. #FootOffGas #QuitWhilstAHEAD
Squared at 1-1 in the tie, Tubs took to the terrain. His opponent lay before him, ready to be taken like a scene from Game of Thrones. But the first two games sadly saw Tubs taken apart. There reamined significant fire in the belly, but it was not enough and was later replaced with spicy tandoori. The best is yet to come; needs nurturing. #LoveMeTandoor #TheWILSONwillComeOutTomorrow
2-1 down, 2 left to play. The Sailor enters - what has he got in his cabin? 2-0 down. Disaster, nay a tsunami. But like a professional, he steers the ship in heavy wind, rides the waves all the way to victory. What a performance, using all his seamen to give the Todgers a chance. #ShotsAhoy #PRINCEnick
Shit. The tie is tied, and tighter than a gnat's chuff. Final match is Jailbait versus the unknown quantity. Youth versus experience. Speed versus skill. It swung one way, then swung another. A pendulum of power and precision if you will. But The Todgers were undone 3-2 in the final, despite dives from Jailbait, worthy of serveral yellow cards. Must try harder. Let the team down. #ChildAbuse #LackedMoralTECHIFIBRE
Well played lads - we'll come back strong next week and push up the table. Peace out x
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| Author: | JA |
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| Away Report: | umm... quite a story, hard to think of this grueling battle was held on a squash court.. Sounds like a good match. Well played |
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| Author: | Chris B |
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