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| Report: | Some might say………that there was a lot of pre-match Cock and Bull flying around about the scoring system. It needed Harriet to stomp her authority on the matter and quash any rumors of an American invasion to the mighty British rule scoring system. With that matter sorted Simon looked upon our faithful adjudicator to perhaps…..sweep and mop the floors ?..........ahem……No chance buddy….on ya bike!!!
Well, well, well…………..the night’s opener was a cracking nutcase showdown at the forth string between Dorking’s Flash cock versus a interesting player from Colets. The encounter needed a strong balanced marker and duly got one in the form of Rob J S Norman. Colet’s Stuart Loynton…..boy oh boy has some talent……… but messed up with racquet throwing + gestures and umpire bating. Daaaahhh! In the end, it had become uncomfortably cringeful to watch…….What it needed was chairman Bob……………… and where was bloody Frankie…..with a beer in his hand!!!! The chairman may have possibly started with a raised eyebrow but then it would have quickly proceeded to the deployment and execution of the Guantanamo rule book!!!! Scottie started the first two games with some wild cross courting into the middle of the court and made it hard on himself. However the Suleiman settled, and with some greater discipline and penetration did well to punch up the tempo. This caught his opponent a little off balance, physically. The ozzie battler came back in a searing heat to put justice and a sword through a deserved and lucky victory. 3-2 (2-9, 6-9, 9-7, 9-7, 9-4) Ozy ozy ozy..oi..oi..oi!
On the adjacent court, the number 3’s swashbuckled in view……..ready to engage. Simo was up against Jack (the Lad) Freeman, a sizeable youthful looking unit. Solid. This guy matched Foxy’s squash talent and charisma stroke for stroke, with fantastic volley execution I can only drool at. This guy was a bigger, younger version of the “Pieman” and had calves to match!! Like the Pieman, he was dogged and never gave up. In the first game, Loxy came back from 2-8, to take it 10-8………..I like it!!!! Go go Simo! In the 3rd game Jack shouted out ‘Moove’ his cotton T-shirt had turned dark. No training routine fodder for this week’s encounter. Our Supremo did well to chop Jack down 3-2. A tight one….Well done Super Si 10-8, 7-9, 9-5, 7-9, 9-4.
At 4, Rob was up against another talent……Jason Savell……..With no Newberry socks, Rob was going to need to play well to take this puppy down!!Can you believe it…some fantastic sensible play combined with perfect timing saw Super Rob chop Mr Savell………like a carrot!..............Ben 10 would have been proud and it had the Jezzer aghast with awe!! No flash Mayle here tonight. In the 3rd game, Roberto broke his opposition……. Mentally! Norman the Great had Savell in a Tizz, and this performance was a pleasure to watch……..bring on Adam Greenwood now I say!! Rob is ready for ya…. Super effort Rob 3-0 (10-8, 10-8, 9-2).
I didn’t see much of the number one’s bout….shame really…I feel a little cheated….but what I do know is that………….Before the evenings outing…..Our dispenser of evil hot rod, did a tour of duty at Horsham……45 minute session with Pete and 2˝ Peroni’s later…..apparently it would have been rude not too!! Well tonight was dirty pint night and James firmly grasped this honor with a 0-3 spanking (5-9,5-9,5-9)…It may not have been, but I don’t have anything to report…What say you older bro? His Opponent (Nick Wood) is a Real Tennis ex-pro and smiled a lot after the match.
Last on, I was up against Jahangir Hussain. Jahangir is a perfect gentleman with a dangerous looking physic suitable for long hard brutal rallies! Our Supremo said I looked a little shell shocked in the first game…….and this was true in that Jahangir distributed an extreme wattage of power in the form of immaculate perfect length drives that savaged my energy reserves after just 3 rallies. At 7-0 down in the first game, I sensed Jahangir’s NOVA imploding. Darth visited me more than once and cloaked me with a Cape. Sensing my opponents drop in power outage (apparently we were both blowing hard!) and looser play I took advantage and took the match 3-2 (6-9, 9-2, 9-2, 4-9, 9-1) This epic battle was deserved of a victory salute which duly came!!........lucky that Scottish bloke wasn’t around!!
The Dorking Cock’s achieved their first victory (4-1) 16-9 against a Colet’s side. It doesn’t matter it is their forth’s….does it?
In the change rooms…….steady……one of the oppo bounced out that Stuart sometimes simply doesn’t return the ball when say 8-3 down………………………………….???????????...............little bro…after a period of reflection, piped up with “we know someone like!!!!!”…..come what may, easy fluidic confabulations were uttered of the pro’s and cons of this tactic!!!!!!. (com see com sa!) Oh yes brotherly love. Have I mentioned I don’t have a brother?
Chef Scottie made a sumptuous feast of spaghetti cabonara and a fusili napolenata bake….Yum yum with garlic bread and cheese board….Cheers mate!!
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| Author: | Kubo Kenevil |
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| Away Report: | Good write up apart from chopped like a carrot!! I put it down to home advantage and court floors, dancing on ice would be proud of!! Well played to all (apart from the little incident we shan't mention!!) look forward to the home leg. |
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| Author: | JS |
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