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| Report: | The Unofficial Match Report: Dorking’s Bulls v Wimbledon Club 3 Home 21stOctober 2015 Author: Kenevil
A friend of mine deliberated that alcohol is mentioned 3 times in a Middle Eastern text: One, never pray whilst drunk. Two, alcohol and betting is something to stay away from. Three, alcohol has both good and bad things, but the bad things may overpower the good.
Some might say……………….that a forth could be reckoned in the west……..it is unwise drinking till you vomit or black out!
Wednesday past saw the mighty Bulls take on the Lakesiders with an identity crisis! Seriously guys…………. The Wimbledon club?…………..please explain???? The Bulls wasted no time. An inform Robbull, was sent down ready to dazzle perched onlookers…..and dazzle metazzle he did. 8 pint, easy as you like it, stuff it in the nick Robert was countered by Luke Rackham. What Luke lacked in Finesse he paid up in physical fitness and loose shots……….my kinda player really!!!! Mid way thru the second game Robert crafted an obscenely outrageous episode of brilliance…….rolling a forehand mid-court drop into the left front court nick, sent a wake of disbelief to expressions of the crowd aloft. Robbie Temple, move over….there’s a new magician in town. It didn’t really matter that the next 3 drops sounded out the tin…..the cheap thrill of the evening had been got…..(Dear Tim…..this is what we come to watch!!). The Horsham dynamo Royale took this 3rd string match 3-0 9/5, 9/6, 9/5. Great Stuff Older Bro…well done.
It’s been once foretold, by the Franskter, of a beer drinking giant prone to perching at Jersey festivals. Time has ravaged through this last decade, cloaking Dorking’s secret atomic weapon. Dorking’s ex over 45 Western Australian open champion came in the form of an exceptional figure. A 6’4 giant Ozy import had a thick head of hair…….No need for a comb over here!! Dave Downman is a record breaking club champion who recently was surgically enhanced and rebuilt to deliver evil on the squash court. Wimbledon clubs 5th string challenger Chris Green could be forgiven thinking that he was up against it. To say the very least Downman delivers such amazing effective combinations that work delivered with economy of movement that next thing you know is the match is all over…..very reminiscent of squash court Eam’s efficiency without the pilot stories of course….and the elbows!!! Deadly Bull announced his presence with a tidy performance 3-0 9/0, 9/1, 9/5. All over red rover!!!!
At the 4th string, Simon maestro Hughes, came across a youthful solidly built specimen ………Simon Birch rivaled our supremo’s skillful touches with some gritty fitness akin to true pieman tradition. I think this match was a little tougher than we realize……..Foxy, afflicted with a defeat 2-3 9/4, 4/9, 9/10, 9/4, 9/4.
At 2 I faced Lloyd Barca. Lloyd is a former Royal Sun Alliance colleague of Stormin Norman. Lloyd is blessed with some crafty shot play and squash sense but on this occasion I was able to sprint to his Simonesk backhand kill shots, breach his fitness barrier and suck him into some brutal rallies blundering his energy reserves. I didn’t witness any smiles from Lloyd, and especially when scrambling back some of his exquisitely tight shots with mishit winners 3-0 9/2, 9/5, 9/5.
Last on was the showdown encounter between hot rod 10 pint Stormin and talented Lauren Briggs. Dispenser of evil was fresh from spanking Aldridge in the over 35’s Sussex intercounty. 3-0 and 11-1 in the last game against Aldridge. Normin was ready to gnash what lay before him. I didn’t get to see any of this match but Hughes remarked Norman was sharp, punchy and is rising swiftly to his peak potential which what I am used to from this enigma Horsham Royale. Well done mate 3-0 9/3, 9/1, 9/6.
And so it happened 4-1 impressive victory and we were on our way………the second victory took us to the top of the table with other teams a game in hand. I’m always grateful for away teams staying for the meal, the Wimbledon bunch were great fun to keep company. The feast revealed a very conservative Deadly Bull….it’s not true Vinnie….. what say you of the deadly Bull……….a model guest with modest sized consumption seen!! “I think he’ll be in your pocket every time?”
Over and out
Kubo Kenevil
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| Author: | SH |
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